Zephyr Hill

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Do You HAVE to Follow These 6 Pregnancy Prescriptions?

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Everyone likes to help and advise an expectant mother, and that’s a good thing. It comes from a good place. But it helps to study the facts for yourself, so you can make the best decisions possible for you and the baby. In fact, I wish more health care providers would do just that – arm us with facts instead of arbitrary rules. Many ultimatums are too broad, or not supported by evidence.

Now, if you choose to place full confidence in a trusted doctor or midwife and just do whatever he recommends, great! That’s certainly one acceptable approach. But if you’re interested in becoming more informed so you can take part in the decision-making process, read on!

Rule 1: Sleep on Your Left Side

There are entire threads on the internet about this one, and the question is often phrased like so: “Is it safe to sleep on my right side?” This immediately sets the stage for worry and anxiety. It just goes to show how strongly women have been indoctrinated into the “left is best” camp. With past pregnancies, I would awake in the night fearful that I’d hurt the baby simply because I’d rolled onto my back. But is sleep during pregnancy really that potentially hazardous?

THE FACTS: A few studies have found only a slight difference in blood flow when lying on your back versus your side. One of these studies pertained only to pregnant women undergoing surgery; the other didn’t give any instruction at all based on its findings. (1,2)

More recently, Canadian doctors Dan Farine and Gareth Seaward acknowledged that “Pregnant women who lie in a supine position may develop syncopal symptoms. However, of those women who become symptomatic, only 2% to 4% have significant aortocaval compression. Even in this small minority of symptomatic women, there is no evidence of fetal compromise. The advice often given to pregnant women to lie on the left side is therefore not relevant.” (3)

CONCLUSION:  Good sleep is an elusive dream that slips away to near oblivion as your due date approaches. Who cares how or where you decide to sleep – the goal is to just get some rest! Your body is very smart. If the baby pushes on your bladder, you wake up and go to the bathroom. If you try to lie flat on your back, or wake and find yourself that way, it’s very uncomfortable, and you change positions. Problem solved.

Rule 2: You Don’t Have Many Pain Relief Options

The aches and pains of pregnancy are due to a myriad of factors. Your joints, your back, your head, your feet, sometimes even your veins (varicose!) can all experience pain for different reasons leaving you diligently searching for a natural anti-inflammatory for pregnancy. Beyond taking acetamenophen, there’s not much else that expectant mothers are advised to try besides non-medicinal measures like massage, and hot/cold packs.

THE FACTS: Thankfully, nature does offer some more options to ease your suffering. If you need a safe and effective and natural anti-inflammatory for pregnancy, topical pain relief is at hand. For an aching back, sore joints and legs and feet or even a superficial headache, formulations that contain natural ingredients like arnica and time-released menthol and camphor can be very effective. Doctor Hoy’s is a great source for targeted, natural pregnancy pain relief. They do not contain parabens, toxins, or aspirin derivatives.

It’s difficult to adequately study medications for safety in pregnant women, so it’s good to keep a safe and natural anti-inflammatory on hand for any aches and pains during and after pregnancy.

For lessening the pain and pressure of varicose veins, health care providers have also found that supplements like Vitamin E, stinging nettle, bilberry and bayberry can make a big difference.

CONCLUSION: Look into natural pain relief options that are well studied and safe for pregnancy. Check with your doctor or midwife about proper dosing.

Rule 3: You Should Switch to Decaf

Firstly, a full disclosure: I’ve been an avid black coffee drinker since the age of twelve. This is a myth I really wanted to debunk. 🙂 From my very first prenatal appointment, the cautions against caffeine started. Many women are told to give it up “just to be on the safe side.” What does this even mean? Is the science so up in the air that everyone is playing it safe against some potential, unnamed risk?

THE DATA: There still isn’t any conclusive medical evidence that drinking a few cups per day will harm the fetus. By that I mean the studies we have are limited in scope, and don’t fully factor in other variables. Just to point out one obvious hole: researchers are not willing to have one group of pregnant women drink no coffee and another group drink 6-8 cups per day (surprise, surprise). In fact, you’d be hard pressed to find anyone, let alone an expectant mother, who drinks that amount! The only control group that did ingest high doses of caffeine for the sake of science was animals. And only then were scientists able to document a possible causal relationship between caffeine and problems like miscarriage and brain development.

The few studies that do show a possible link between miscarriage and “substantial” amounts of coffee in early pregnancy are not conclusive either because you can’t prove it isn’t just a correlation rather than a case of direct cause. Why? Because women who tend to drink more coffee also tend to be (a) older and (b) moderate to heavy consumers of alcohol and/or tobacco. All three are known risk factors for negative outcomes.

Another interesting fact: women who are more nauseated in early pregnancy tend to avoid or limit their coffee intake. And there is a link between more nausea and a lower incident of miscarriage. So, again, the slightly higher rates of miscarriage for moderate to heavy coffee drinkers could very well be due to the fact that these pregnancies were already doomed, and maybe that’s why the mothers weren’t feeling very nauseous, or even sick at all (4).

CONCLUSION: The data we currently have does not preclude enjoying a few cups per day. The current (American) recommendation of no more than 200 mg per day is arbitrary.

Rule 4: You Have to Get Antibiotics for Group B Strep

The Group B Strep question is a classic risk vs. benefit calculation, and yet almost never is it presented to pregnant women this way. Not only do we assume we have to take the test (we don’t), we are told IV antibiotics during labor are the best choice in event of a positive test (not necessarily). Nearly one third of pregnant women will be given antibiotics during labor; that’s a huge number, and certainly worth giving a second look.

THE FACTS: First of all, what is the theoretical risk posed by not treating Group B? I’ll use some Canadian research to give you a general idea. Of about 20% of women who tested positive and were untreated, 50% passed GBS on to their newborns. Roughly 49% of those colonized infants experienced zero symptoms. Between 1-2% actually developed early-onset GBS. 

While nearly every doctor spends time talking about Group B risk, they collectively fail to educate women about the drawbacks of routine IV antibiotics for mother and baby, drawbacks which are are more likely to occur than actual GBS in the infant. Some of these negatives include:

  • Increased risk of maternal and fetal candida/yeast infection (happened to me twice)
  • Increased risk of breastfeeding problems, including giving up on breastfeeding (happened to me twice)
  • Increased risk of labor complications due to the mother’s mobility being limited by the IV apparatus
  • Negative effects on your baby’s microbiome, for up to one year, including (ironically) higher levels of harmful bacteria like Clostridium, Enterococcus, and Streptococcus (this happened to both of my sons in their first year). Possible links to childhood allergies and asthma are also being looked into.
  • Routine use of antibiotics in healthy mothers and infants can lead to antibiotic resistance, a growing problem in our age. In fact, some of the antibiotics used in labor specifically for “treating” Group B Strep are resistant and ineffective (this particular study is over 10 years old, and the numbers continue to rise).

Quoting from an excellent assessment from Jane Sheppard: “By CDC estimates, we save the lives of two in 10,000 babies-0.02 percent-by administering antibiotics during labor to one third of all laboring women. We should also keep in mind that this figure does not take into account the infants that will die as a result of bacteria made antibiotic-resistant by the use of antibiotics during labor-infants who would not otherwise have become ill. When you take that into account, there may not be any lives saved by using antibiotics during labor.”

Apparently, mortality from GBS remains the same whether or not antibiotics are given. Less babies get sick, but death rates are not changed.

Routine antibiotics aren’t the only problem; the test itself is flawed. Colonization of Group B is very transient. You can test positive at 37 weeks and then be negative at 39 weeks, or vice versa. That means both missed colonizations and misdiagnosed colonizations. In one study, 9% of women who were tested at 35 weeks came up negative and were not given antibiotics during labor. They were tested again during labor and found to be positive.  The same study showed that 16% of women tested positive at 35 weeks, but negative during labor. They were thus put on high-powered antibiotics for no reason.

A more recent study from 2009 showed that most cases (61%) of GBS in full-term babies happened with pregnant mothers who had been screened but tested negative. Yet our current testing system is treated like the gospel truth.

There’s also the fact that despite following all the doctor-approved protocols, women who test negative, and their babies, can contract Group B from the hospital itself!

CONCLUSION: Decision-making would be much easier if we had faster, better test results. Some doctors are even administering a simple blood test on the newborn with promising results.

In the absence of that, you have four options right now:

  1. Use the universal approach and take the antibiotics. Be open-minded about the possible negative side effects of this high-powered dose of medicine on both you and your baby in the short and long term.
  2. Use the risk-based approach. IV antibiotics are a reasonable choice if: you tested positive AND one of these three factors is present – pre-term labor, fever during labor or membranes that have been ruptured for 18 hours or more.
  3. Decline antibiotics if you test positive and take steps in the weeks before labor to encourage the colonization of good bacteria. Consider the Hibiclens protocol during labor as an alternative approach (studies are mixed on this one, but here’s some research on that). Other preventative measures include refusing unnecessary internal exams, refusing a membrane sweep, declining internal monitoring except when absolutely needed, avoiding induction or use of “ripeners” which are applied to the cervix, and not permitting the artificial rupture of your membranes.

IMPORTANT: Do not let a hospital give you the “he or me” routine, and threaten that either you or your baby MUST be given antibiotics. You have every right to say NEITHER, and it will not affect your insurance.

Rule 5: Someone Else Should Take Care of Your Cat

An avid cat lover, I was both scared and saddened when reading during my first pregnancy that someone else should take care of our cats because of a deadly pathogen called Toxoplasmosis.

THE FACTS: The risk of having Toxoplasmosis pathogens in your indoor cat’s litter box is statistically miniscule. A European multi-city study done in 2000 concluded “Contact with cats was not a risk factor.” Toxoplasmosis infection is most likely to be transmitted via undercooked meat and contaminated soil, not your cat. Furthermore, an infected cat only secretes the toxin for about 2 weeks, and how likely is it that those two weeks are going to fall during your pregnancy?

Two other things to be aware of. You might have already gotten the illness before conception, especially if you were around cats or spent a decent amount of time outdoors in your youth. Many don’t even know they had it because the symptoms range from unnoticeable to mild. And once you’ve had it you’re immune for life. You can even do a blood test before or during pregnancy to satisfy your curiosity.

CONCLUSION: Obsessing about our pet cats during pregnancy is unnecessary. Don’t eat undercooked meat and wash your hands after digging around in the soil, or changing the litterbox. Just common sense.

Rule 6: It’s Risky to Have a Baby After 35

I’ve conceived at 36, 37, 39 and 42 (among others!) so this one is near and dear to my heart. People tend to see age 35 as a big risk threshold that women should only cross with caution. Fueling this fear, many OB doctors automatically slap the “high risk” label on you if you’re over 35, setting the stage for undue anxiety and worry throughout the pregnancy.

What about all those statistics showing that women over 35 have a greater risk of problems and complications?

THE FACTS: First of all, understand that the risks increase very very slowly over time; it’s not like you hit 35 and all of a sudden you’re a walking time bomb. See how slowly that line creeps up? And see how low the percentages actually are? (it’s not even 1 percent at age 38)

Take Down Syndrome, for one example. Dr. Sears says “Depending on how they are presented, these figures can be scary. If a doctor says to a mother, ‘At age thirty-five you have five times the chance of having a Down Syndrome baby than you did at age twenty,’ that would scare many senior mothers from conceiving. Here’s how I present the risk factors to my patients who ask. At age twenty you had a 99.95 percent chance of not delivering a baby with Down syndrome; at age thirty-five your chances of not delivering a baby with Down Syndrome are 99.75 percent. Doesn’t that figure sound more reassuring?” Maybe they shouldn’t even start to make a deal about risks until 45 or later. But even at age 45 you still have a 97 percent chance of delivering a baby without Down Syndrome.”

CONCLUSION: There’s no reason to worry about conceiving at age 35, or after. Not only do the majority of “risks” that we associate with advanced age increase extremely slowly over time, but our ability to do something about them is close to zero.

 

For more fact-based information about your pregnancy, check out these two great books – Expecting Better and Debunking the Bump!

 

 

 

 

 

Other Sources (Not Hyperlinked):

(1) Kaupilla, A.J.I, et al (1980). Decreased Intervillous and Unchanged Myometrial Blood Flow in Supine Recumbency. Obstetrics & Gynecology, 55(2):203-5. DOI: 10.1097/00132582-198103000-00009
(2) Ellington, C. et al (1991). The Effect of Lateral Tilt on Maternal and Fetal Hemodynamic Variables. Obstetrics & Gynecology, 77(2):201-3. DOI: 10.1097/00006250-199102000-00007
(3) Farine, D. and Seaward, G. (2007). When it Comes to Pregnant Women Sleeping, Is Left Right? Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology Canada, 29(10): 841-842. DOI: 10.1016/S1701-2163(16)32633-0
(4) Lawson CC, LeMasters GK, Wilson KA (2004). Changes to Caffeine Consumption as a Signal of Pregnancy. Reproductive Toxology, 18:625-33
(5) Abrams, B. et al (2000. Pregnancy Weight Gain: Still Controversial. American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, 71 (5 Suppl):1233S-41S. DOI: 10.1093/ajcn/71.5.1233s
(6) Schack-Neilsen, L. et al (2005). Gestational Weight Gain in Relation to Offspring Body Mass Index and Obesity From Infancy Through Adulthood. International Journal of Obesity, 34(1):67-74. DOI: 10.1038/ijo.2009.206
(7) Bodnar, Lisa et al (2010). Severe Obesity, Gestational Weight gain, and Adverse Birth Outcome. American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, 91(6):1642-8. DOI: 10.3945/ajcn.2009.29008
Oster, E. (2013). Expecting Better: How to Fight the Pregnancy Establishment with Facts. New York: Penguin Press
Adler, D. (2014). Debunking the Bump: A Mathemetician Mom Explodes Myths About Pregnancy. (n.p.): Author

 

My thanks to Responsival who partnered with me on this post!

 

It’s a Wonderful Life: How This Film Deeply Affects People 75 Years Later

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You’ve probably watched it before, but if not, It’s a Wonderful Life is one of America’s best-loved Christmas movies, starring Jimmy Stewart as a small-town dreamer who comes close to being fatally crushed by his emotional and financial burdens, and the feeling that he’s a failure. A divine intervention by his guardian angel helps him to come back. Over the year, it’s appeal has only grown; perhaps the tinsel on this film will never lose its shimmer.

It’s a Wonderful Life is most often praised for showing how goodness is its own reward, and that a man is truly rich if he has friends. But I would argue that its loudest message is this:

God loves us and hears our prayers!

It was Director Frank Capra himself who insisted “My films must let every man, woman and child know that God loves them.” He chose to open his movie with the voices of George’s loved ones floating up to Heaven as they pray fervently for him. Almost the very instant these prayers reach the ear of God, help is dispatched! Prayer resurfaces often throughout the movie, and the very last words uttered by George are essentially a thankful high five to his guardian angel: “Attaboy, Clarence!”

Here is a collection of personal thoughts and remembrances collected from the internet which illustrate how much Capra’s masterpiece from 75 years ago still resonates.

A Changed Perspective

Millions of people have been moved by the movie’s message that being good, and being grateful for good things, bring lasting happiness.

“I’m a young fella, 16, and I greatly appreciate this movie. I haven’t always been happy in life but this movie made me want to ‘live again.’ I’m working to become a happier person and every time I think of this film, I shed a tear thinking of how important it is to cherish the happy and good parts of life. Also the movie made me realize, like George, that I do truly have a wonderful life and that I’ve touched so many other people’s lives.”

“I think of my war buddy who had half his platoon wiped out on Christmas Eve in Vietnam. I think of Iraqi-Afghan vets facing their own dark nights, and I think about how Jimmy Stewart survived the war — and the homecoming. If you are in a dark place this holiday, be on the lookout for your own [angel] Clarence and let him in.”

“I must say that this is definitely, the best Christmas movie ever made; such emotional films just are not made nowadays. This really made me think about my life choices, made me appreciate everything I have and made me think that it’s really up to myself what I want to do in life.”

No Man is an Island

The angel tells George “each man’s life touches so many others.” Translation: even the littlest things we do and say in life can matter tremendously – for good or for ill. We are social beings, created for community and called to love one another.

“George truly has been given the greatest gift; a chance to see a world that has never been touched by him, to see how many lives he has saved and changed for the best and how when he was on the brink of taking his own life, everyone prayed, wept, searched, and tried to help him in any way they could.”

“I remember when I was a kid, my father lost his business he worked so hard for. He was devastated. Our church went all out to help us. Soon people were dropping off food, money, stuff for the kids. Just the power of a local community pulling together. I think of that every time I see this ending.”

“Seeing his community rally behind them. The community he’s served his entire life. It is my wish one day to feel as this man does. To have your life mean something, to know your presence made such an impact on so many dozens of lives.”

“A movie line for all time! ‘No man is a failure that has friends.’ All the money and fame in this world are as fleeting and fragile as dust in the wind. Friendship and the support of others can steer any ship through the deepest waters.”

“I watched this movie for the first time week or two ago. I have never broke down in tears like I did after watching this movie. We are all part of this world, we are all unique and we are all loved by someone. Life is really wonderful and you always have a choice.”

“I watched this movie with my adopted mother when I was a kid and thought ‘why am I watching this it’s stupid?’ Then later I was incarcerated for 7 years, and in jail I watched this movie and when the ending came I bawled my eyes out crying…Clarence left me with the greatest quote ever said or written down “Remember no man is a failure in the eyes of his friends.” And at that point I realized I have everything I needed from a few friends that rode out every trial I had growing up!”

It Gets Better With Time

For many Americans, this film is an annual Christmas tradition, and that fact alone gives it a certain nostalgia. But a commonly repeated theme is that with each passing year, the lessons of It’s a Wonderful Life strike deeper and deeper into the heart. That’s the mark of a truly great movie!

“As a 92 year old man… I thank God for the many times over the years I got to enjoy this film with my wife… we were married for 68 years…”

“I went from completely disregarding this as a child, to being drawn to tears as an adult. Growing older makes you appreciate true happiness.”

“It’s a tradition in my family to watch this movie every Christmas Eve. As I’ve gotten older, I understand the meaning even more. This year, the ending brought me to tears.”

“I remember when I watched this together with my parents for the first time a few years ago and my dad was like ‘ugh do we have to watch this boring movie?’ By the end of it we were all crying so hard and my dad the hardest haha. I love this ending, touches me every time!”

“I’m so glad my Grandmother watched this with me growing up. The true spirit of Christmas! No matter how many times I watch it I cry. I miss her more then words can describe.”

“Wouldn’t have given this movie a chance when I was a kid. As a 35 year old, this is the one that hits deep every year and leaves me with watery eyes. Time is a funny thing.”

“Amazing how its basic premise of redemption and good winning out over greed resonates in 21st century America. The older I get the more emotional this film makes me. It is simply that good.”

“‘I can’t possibly see how this movie would ever grow old fashioned because there are always going to be people who feel like the main character… I really can’t think of too many movies that contain as much power as this one but that’s why new fans are gained with every passing year.”

“Does it take me back to that place in my heart, that makes me long for everything that once was great and it could be again? Does it remind me of my childhood, Christmas in my home? No. Maybe it’s just simply what I always wanted from life and every man I want to be.”

It’s a Wonderful Wife

George isn’t the only hero in this story; Mary is a constant force for good in his life even from their childhood years, when she whispers in his ear “George Bailey, I’ll love you till the day I die!” Her prayers, her vision, her faithfulness are wonderful to behold, and Mary is THE greatest blessing that George acknowledges with a full heart at the end of the film. She epitomizes the quiet steadfastness of the wife and mother, never seeking glory or recognition, giving her all for others, and gratefully embracing the quiet rewards of a life of service, even when those rewards are few and far between. I’ve always wondered if Capra (a Catholic) chose this name for George’s wife because she embodies some of the virtues of the Mother of God herself: purity, tenderness, humility and charity.

Mary’s crucial role has not been overlooked by fans of the film.

“As a man, to have a wife like that is the greatest blessing you can have.”

“I don’t care what anyone says, this movie still brings a tear to my eyes at 31. George helped all those people; family and friends and true friends will never see you suffer. I sure hope to find a wife like Mary one day. She really stood by her husband.”

“[it’s] the story of someone becoming, kicking and screaming, against all intentions and desires, a big man. Mary sees the big man in George from the first, because she is a big woman.” (Clare Coffey)

“I have known a ‘Mary’ in my life. She has supported me through thick and thin. My life would be a very empty place without her love. My community would also be less without her care. My children are a reflection of her beautiful heart. She is blessed. Thanks for loving me…you are a gift from God above.”

“The one watching over George all those years was Mary. She was just as much a guardian angel to George as Clarence was.”

“There are many such Marys in this world who quietly go about, offering their prayers, works, and sufferings; raising their children; praying for their husbands and making them 10x the men they would have been without them. I know. I’m married to one. Most of their deeds won’t be known this side of heaven. Until they’re known, we, the Georges of this world, offer to you Marys our profound thank you. And we promise to keep trying to lasso the moon for you. You deserve nothing less.” (Tim Clark)

Stewart’s Soul-Searching Performance

It’s not just the inspiring story line that packs a punch; this was truly one of Jimmy Stewart’s greatest performances. Calling it one of best roles he ever played (and his favorite film out of 80 made), Jimmy Stewart (a devout Christian) said he was talking to God for real during those pivotal scenes.

In his own words, he describes the tragic bar scene where George completely breaks down. “In agony I raise my eyes and, following the script, plead, ‘God… God…dear Father in heaven, I’m not a praying man, but if you’re up there and you can hear me, show me the way. I’m at the end of my rope. Show me the way, God…’ As I said those words, I felt the loneliness, the hopelessness of people who had nowhere to turn, and my eyes filled with tears. I broke down sobbing. This was not planned at all, but the power of that prayer, the realization that our Father in heaven is there to help the hopeless, had reduced me to tears.” Director Capra immediately realized what a gift this raw, unplanned performance was, and used a close up shot to capture every aspect of that poignant moment for his final cut.

Stewart knew well what he was portraying, having recently returned from the hellish conditions of World War II as a combat veteran.

“What makes this movie work so beautifully is that the character Stewart plays is imperfect. He is a flawed human being just like anyone of us. To me, that is the reason why the ending is magical. Stewart helps us relate to George on so many levels.”

“When Harry says:”To my big brother George, the richest man in town,” the expression that follows on Jimmy Stewart’ is one of the most honest, pure and amazing acting reactions I have ever seen. I cannot stop watching it over and over again. Thank you Jimmy, you were a wonderful actor.”

“I recently saw the ending scene described as the most satisfying emotional payoff of any movie and I’d have to agree. Stewart nails it.”

“In the course of the film, Stewart embodies love, joy, and sacrifice, but most significantly for his future direction as an actor, there is also despair, sorrow and anger…there’s also a dark undercurrent to George Bailey – one fully exploited later by Hitchcock and Manne.” (Graeme Ross)

“His depiction of suicidal anguish is something we carry with us long after seeing this film.” (Mick LaSalle)

“…only James Stewart could have given justice to a character that has self-doubt gnawing at his essential decency. Also the character change, like that of Alistair Sim’s Scrooge at the end of Scrooge, was heart-breakingly believable.”

“What I love most is that you could show this scene to anyone around the world with no context or subtitles and they’d understand what he’s going through, just by looking at his eyes. It’s a universal human feeling and Jimmy Stewart portrayed it painfully true.”

Life is Worth Living

George attempts suicide in the film; darkness and fear overtake him as stares down into an icy river and decides to throw it all away. And this is when the angel shows up. The flirtation with death in It’s a Wonderful Life has really hit home for many, instilling a deeper appreciation for the gift of life, as fragile as it is.

“I’m a Navy vet with PTSD. This movie literally saved my life.”

“I’ve felt suicidal before but I know God has a plan…no matter how bad it is or how much it doesn’t make sense there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. We realize what we go through makes us who we are and one day it all makes sense why things happen because Someone is watching over us, writing our story. This movie had such a profound effect on me, I feel it changed my life. I revisit it occasionally to remember what it taught me.”

“Everyone should watch this film, you learn such a valid lesson about how precious life really is and how important each and everyone of us is to each other…sometimes some of us go through life without realizing what an impact we could have or have to so many others, we under value ourselves which can make us end our lives tragically or do sinful things because we lose our identity and lose the sense of what is right or wrong.”

“George Bailey is all of us, and his story is a reminder that we’re all important and, no matter how tough it gets, we need to keep going.”

Actor Jimmy Stewart knew personally about the “dark night of the soul” that can breed thoughts of despair. Having just returned from multiple treacherous missions over Nazi Germany, he remarked upon returning that “Fear is an insidious and deadly thing. It can warp judgement, freeze reflexes, breed mistakes. And worse, it’s contagious.” The prayerful desperation he portrays in the film is the real deal.

And when he gleefully rejoices over his bloody lip, smiles as he passes his smashed up car, and moments later yells “I bet it’s a warrant for my arrest. Isn’t it wonderful? I’m going to jail!” George Bailey isn’t descending into Pollyanna platitudes – or madness. It’s just that he’s truly internalized that life is worth living, no matter what shape it takes. There can be calm in a raging storm, the calm that hope brings.

How much more important this message grows with each passing year, with both suicide and “assisted suicide” on the rise!

All of this talk about hope for a weary world, brings to mind a most beautiful passage from Lord of the Rings, after which I will exit stage left:

“There, peeping among the cloud-wrack above a dark tower high up in the mountains, Sam saw a white star twinkle for a while. The beauty of it smote his heart, as he looked up out of the forsaken land, and hope returned to him. For like a shaft, clear and cold, the thought pierced him that in the end the Shadow was only a small and passing thing: there was light and high beauty for ever beyond its reach.” (J.R.R. Tolkien)

Watch It’s a Wonderful Life with Amazon Prime

Merry Christmas!

Outside-the-Box, Delightful Gift Ideas for 2022

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It’s easy to get into a rut with gift-giving, so today’s post will help you break out of the mold and discover some fun and different ideas for everyone in the family!

 

Sweet Chaos Popcorn

I hope you will find a place under the tree for this decadent treat! Sweet Chaos drizzled popcorn is the best ever, and it tastes as good as it looks. Seasonable varieties this year include Pumpkin Spice, Maple Brown Sugar, Black-and-White and Vanilla Chai.

It’s also a crowd-pleaser, being gluten free and

Click here to learn more about Sweet Chaos popcorn

Pen Heaven

Designed to please the readers, writers and lovers-of-luxury in your circle of friends and family, Pen Heaven is aptly named. They have beautiful stocking stuffers for under $25, and gifts especially curated for men and women in a variety of colors, textures and styles. Many of their pens, journals, etc. can be custom engraved for a more personal touch.

The more tailored pen collection for men focuses on classic finishes with a weighty feel; for women, the designs are slim and elegant. Pair this with Crown Mill paper or a practical Filofax planner and you’ve got a classy gift that will bring enjoyment all year long.

Click here to shop for gifts at Pen Heaven
Hint: use code IM15 to get 15% off all Parker pens

The Brown Rabbit Studio

Winter journals, original oil landscapes, watercolor bookmark sets,

https://www.etsy.com/listing/1108186852/journal-winter-journal-notebook
https://www.etsy.com/listing/690086753/winter-landscape-painting-prairie

Buy a set of original watercolor bookmarks and you get 5 stocking stuffers!

Click here to shop for art-inspired gifts at The Brown Rabbit.

The Natori Congo Robe

This lovely rayon-blend robe might be the only one you’ll ever wear. This was one of my favorite Christmas gifts ever! I received the teal robe and wear it almost daily. The fabric drapes beautifully and it’s lightweight yet warm. The longer length looks very elegant and it’s easy to wash and dry. Four years later, my robe still looks great.

You can choose from 13 different colors and some are on sale for just $27.00 this year – that’s almost 50% off!

Click here to shop Natori robes with free shipping.

 

Happy Head

There are lots of thoughtful things you can give those you care about for Christmas, and TLC can be one of the best gifts. A beautiful and healthy head of hair starts with just the right shampoo, conditioner and supplements. You can get all of this in a neatly packaged gift with Happy Head’s Holiday Pack. It also includes $50 off a new subscription to their Topical Hair Growth Solution.

This bundles delivers a myriad of results: cleansing, moisturizing and growth. Designed by experts, the shampoo and conditioner are infused with argan oil, biotin, collagen, keratin, and saw palmetto to support healthy hair. And you can help the process from within with daily supplements containing nourishing ingredients like biotin, collagen, keratin, saw palmetto, probiotics, ashwagandha, and vitamins A & D.

The value is amazing, considering what most treatment plans and products cost these days, so if you’ve been putting it off because of cost, now’s the time to act!

Click here to shop for the Holiday Pack

DoubleTake Bags

My family got into pickle ball last year and even entered the local tournament. It was low stress and a fun way to get exercise! Having the perfect bag to carry all your essentials is a must. DoubleTake has the bags and totes that players rely on.

Whether pickle ball or tennis is your game, the Melbourne is a medium-sized, tote-to backpack convertible bag designed to carry an average amount of gear in a lightweight, comfortable style. It comes in a variety of sporty fade-resistant colors, and is water-resistant. The Melbourne Backpack will be your new best buddy. I love the comfy straps, premium materials and all the bright colors you get to pick from!

Click here to shop sport bags and totes at DoubleTake

New Cooking Tools

I really love the festive red color of this workhorse slow cooker by Hamilton Beach.

With an 8-quart capacity, it can feed a crowd. Use it for Christmas and New Year gatherings, or quick weeknight meals during the busy Advent season. You can even fit a chicken up to 8 pounds inside. There are three basic settings for Warm, Low and High, and the durable stoneware is dishwasher safe for easy cleanup.

Get it with free shipping if you have a Walmart+ membership!

Boots for All Seasons

From author Lisl H. Detlefsen and illustrator Renée Kurilla comes a beautiful farm book that’s all about the boots. Follow children and their families as they care for crops and animals through all four seasons of the year, and enjoy the colorful artwork that highlights all of the different boots they wear.

Young children will love this richly illustrated hardback with easy-to-read and understand rhyming verses. Each season brings its own joys and tasks.

If you have a little one, you already know how much they love footwear! Whether it’s a new pair for themselves, or the fun of trying on Mama and Daddy’s big shoes, they sure seem to have a fascination with boots. My toddler has picked up Farm Boots over and over again this December to marvel at all the fun colors and styles. Available soon at Amazon; and please visit the author and illustrator online!

Wiley Wallaby

Here’s another unique Christmas treat for the licorice-lovers in your life. Soft and chewy Wiley Wallaby comes in surprisingly different flavors – Classic Red (strawberry), Classic Black, Watermelon, Blasted Berry, Huckleberry, Green Apple and Blueberry Pomegranate.

With less sugar than other brands, and naturally fat-free and gluten-free, you can enjoy this gourmet licorice with only a small twinge of guilt 😉

Click here to find out where to buy Wiley Wallaby licorice

 

Blue Orange Games

My family is a HUGE fan of Blue Orange Games, and with a tagline like “hot games for a cool planet,” it’s easy to see why. The sheer variety of games that they make is staggering. Games for every age, every stage and every interest.

Where else can you find an adorable pug dog game for toddlers and also a 3D planet ecosystem game for teens and adults? Blue Orange games is a fun place to shop for Christmas, year after year. Here are some of their newest games for little ones:

Tongues Out! I was so glad to find this game at Blue Orange because our family dog is a pug. Designed for ages 4 and up, this adorable memory game features squishy fidget-like pug dogs who have apparently eaten all the lollipops up! To find the culprit, gently squeeze the pug and his tongue pops out – and you must pay attention to what color his tongue is. Here’s a video of this unique little game in action!

Junk Jumble is a cute little observation game that’s very tactile and appealing to ages 6 and up. It consists of a small chest of drawers which players peek into, looking for all the items on their checklist. An engaging game that’s quick to learn and play, children will love all of the colorful little pieces and strengthen their memory and focusing skills while playing.

My boys were given the chance to try Planet and Kingdomino, which have long been on their wish list.

Kingdomino is an award-winning kingdom building strategy game which loosely follows the domino concept of lining up tiles with like terrains. Players place tiles one by one, and then game ends when each has completed a 5×5 grid. Extra points are awarded for crown tiles. It’s quick to play and quite addictive, actually! Each game is completely different with a range of strategies to choose from. And the artwork is very beautiful, giving it a really nice aesthetic.

This game is so popular that Blue Orange has created a couple of spin-offs including Queendomino and Dragomino.

Planet is truly one of the coolest games we’ve played in a while. The star of the show is a 3D 12-sided planet core, which players will fill with magnetic pentagon-shaped tiles throughout the game. The goal is to connect as many habitats (ice, water, mountain, etc.) as possible to attract certain wildlife, and thereby gain those animal cards in your hand. Each animal prefers a certain eco-system, so players have to be very careful to place the magnetic tiles in just the right way on their planet core.

With gorgeous, realistic artwork and the tactile magnetic planet in your hand, this game is a feast for the senses as well as a strategic challenge. It’s recommended for ages 8 and up and 2-4 can play.

TextNow Phone Service

Did you know that your family can have access to wireless service FOR FREE? With TextNow, you get free calls and texts with no strings attached. Whether you need an emergency cell phone, a basic phone for your teen, or just find yourself struggling to make ends meet these days, TextNow helps you to get connected and enjoy totally free wireless service.

I’ve personally worked with the folks at TextNow and they are prompt, friendly and knowledgeable. They helped set me up using a phone my friend gave me. My 99 cent SIM card arrived in the mail within days and I even got to pick my new number. We now have a phone my children can use at home to contact me when I’m out. And it costs me nothing!

If you’d like to add on data, TextNow offers that, but I just think it’s pretty amazing that they offer mobile service for FREE to those who need it. With its ad-supported free service, TextNow is committed to keeping people connected.

Give the gift of communication this Christmas and free yourself from the worry and hassle of monthly phone bills.

Click here to get free wireless service from TextNow

Two Rivers Coffee K-Cup Assortment

The huge coffee assortment my husband got me for Christmas last year was a gift that kept on giving, for weeks and weeks! The Two Rivers assortment contains 40 coffee pods in   and costs less than $20! It arrives on your doorstep within just a few days with FREE Amazon Prime shipping.

Compatible with Keurig coffee machines, this variety pack contains maple, chocolate, cinnamon, chocolate vanilla, vanilla, hazelnut and other flavored coffees.

Click here to buy the 40-Count Coffee Assortment from Two Rivers

 

Semper Smart Games

If you’d like to put some educational games under the tree this Christmas, I have two very whimsical suggestions – Blobby’s Pizza and Full of Bull from Semper Smart Games!

Blobby’s Piece teaches and reinforces fractions, decimals and percentages as monsters eat their way to victory. We love the game components which include a realistic guest check book (just like they use at restaurants), vibrant monster cards and a box with magnetic closure to hold everything. There are varying skill levels which means nearly everyone in the family can play this game. The goal is to build pizzas out of fraction cards and get the highest total bill.

If you love bluffing games, Full of Bull is for you. Test your mental math skills by using multiplication, and a little bit of guessing and bluffing, to come out on top of the betting. All of the pieces, including dice and chips and writing instruments, are neatly contained in a bright red cup. Any child who’s learning the time tables, or already has them mastered, will really like this fast-paced, high stakes game!

Grab Blobby’s Pizza and Full of Bull
with free Prime shipping!

Let’s Play House Cleaning Set

Every Saturday we do a big family clean-up, and I’ve noticed that our toddler loves to imitate what everyone is doing. So this Christmas, she’s getting the Melissa & Doug Let’s Play House Cleaning Set. What really sold me on this cute and sturdy set was that everything stores neatly on the wooden hanging rack.

Get the Let’s Play House Cleaning Set for 56% off!

Give Cloth Diapers a Try

This Christmas you can nurture someone’s pioneer spirit with a full set of cloth diapers. Nicki’s has budget-friendly options that include covers and inserts and all-in-ones. You can also shop diaper bags and other essential baby gear.

There’s also an amazing deal from Cotton Babies right now – get the Elemental Joy all-in-one diapers for just $5.00 each!

Click here to shop cloth diapers at Nicki’s.
Click here for the $5 diaper at Cotton Babies.

Rising Sun Baby Care

From the islands of Japan come a very unique gift indeed – gentle exfoliating washcloths and body towels made from a finely textured fabric that won’t irritate even the most sensitive skin. It gently cleans, exfoliates and rejuvenates, and is machine washable. Elevate your bath and enjoy a Japanese spa-like experience! Everyone can enjoy Rising Sun cleansing towels – babies, toddlers, teens and parents. They are individually packaged and make nice stocking stuffers or a unique addition to personal care gift baskets. I’m gifting one to my teenage daughter this year!

Click here to shop at Rising Sun

Saint Nicholas Book Sale at TAN

Books are always welcome at Christmas – or any other time, for that matter! I want to share with you a couple of beautiful titles that TAN has published which are apropos for this time of year.

Meditations on the Holy Angels is a luminous spiritual classic by Saint Aloysius Gonzaga.
The Imitation of Saint Joseph focuses on the quiet presence that led the Holy Family. Learn more about this “just man” who was privileged to die with Mary and Jesus at his side, and who is revered as the protector of the Universal Church. The green deluxe leatherette binding makes this book an extra special gift at Christmas.
The Sermons of Saint Francis de Sales for Advent serve as perfect daily devotional in the days leading up to Christmas, and beyond.

Shop the Saint Nicholas sale
with books as low as $1 and $2

 

 

 

 

Consider These Things Before Refinancing Your Home

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As costs continue to rise across the board, consumers are looking for more ways to save money and cut corners. One of first places we look is at our mortgage, because it’s generally the highest outlay of the month. We see advertisements about how refinancing can save us thousands of dollars. But is it the right decision for you?

What is a Refinance?

When you get a refinance (or remortgage), you actually sign completely new loan papers. Some of the terms that might change include:

  • Lower monthly payments
  • Lower interest rate
  • Change in loan terms (for example, switching from 15 years to 30 or vice versa)
  • Change in type of loan

Should I Refinance?

Not everyone will benefit from a refinance. But if you pick the right time, you can reap a lot of benefits! For instance:

  • You can lower your monthly payments and use the extra cash to meet monthly expenses and/or put together an emergency fund
  • You can change an ARM or balloon mortgage to a more beneficial fixed-rate mortgage
  • You can score a lower interest rate; to make it worthwhile, you’ll need to save at least 1 or 2 percentage points.

Always shoot for a 15-year fixed if you can; you’ll pay off your house sooner and save a TON because you’ll be skipping 10+ years of interest payments!

It really pays to shop around for interest rates because just one or two percentage points makes a HUGE difference. Here’s an example:

  • Total interest on a 15-year fixed-rate mortgage of $250,000 is $117,687 at 5.5% and $82,860 at 4.0%. That’s over $34,000 in savings.

Counting the Cost

Don’t forget that refinancing costs money; after all, you’re closing on a new loan and that means closing costs. You can check here to get an idea of current estimates. Shop local and online banks because they do compete in terms of closing costs and services.

Getting an idea of what your remortgage will look like starts with calculating your payments using an online tool. The repayment of your loan over a period of time is called amortization and you can create printable amortization schedules to get a visual of what your new payment terms would look like going forward.

To calculate your remortgage, just plug in these numbers:

  • Current loan balance
  • Cash/equity (if any) that you will withdrawal
  • Interest rate
  • Term (choose the number of years you’ll spread the payments over – generally 10, 15, 25 or 30)

What are the First Steps?

If, after running the numbers, it looks like a win for your home, the first things you’ll do on your way to a refinance are:

  • Get your home appraised to determine fair market value
  • Gather required documents for the application like proof of income, ID, tax returns, bank and mortgage statements, homeowners insurance and property tax bills.
  • Decide whether you will be paying for closing costs up front or “rolling” them into your new loan (if the bank offers this option).

In summary, only you can determine if refinancing is a good idea right now. It depends on your situation, and I hope the tips I’ve shared today help you in that decision-making process.

No Time for Hand Written Notes? Try This!

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Since childhood, I’ve kept many of the handwritten notes and letters people have given me. How wonderful it is to pull them out, hold the paper in my hand and reread the heartfelt messages! In a digital world, handwritten notes remain a refreshing reprise; when they arrive in the mail that adds an extra layer of pleasure, because who wants to get bills and advertisements all the time?

Handwritten notes are:

  • More personal
  • More thoughtful
  • More creative
  • Less common

And yet, most of us find little time to sit down and write a handwritten note or card. I think we shrug it off as too laborious, when in reality it only takes 10 minute or so to jot down a personal note or write a happy birthday message.

But if you still think that’s too much of a hassle, or you just don’t have a good supply of stationary on hand, then I’ve got good news for you. A service called Handwrytten was made just for such situations. It is in fact the leading handwritten notes service, allowing customers to send automated – but authentic – cards and notes to those they care about.

If you spend your day typing or at the computer anyway, then you can integrate Handwrytten seamlessly into your life and never forget an important occasion again. Your friends will be thrilled (and impressed) when they receive your personalized greetings in the mail.

Their birthday card service is notably popular because no one wants to forget to honor such a special day; yet how many of us resort to sending belated greetings every year because we dropped the ball? Not only is Handwrytten’s service personalized, but they can even replicate your handwriting. There’s also the option of adding a gift inside; choose from over 20 different retailers as an extra thoughtful gesture.

You can try a free sample and see what you think!

The sky’s the limit when it comes to sending automated customized greetings with Handwrytten; choose from Thank You Cards, Birthday Cards, Get Well Cards, Holiday Cards and more.

You might be thinking, “won’t the recipient know it’s from a robot?”

Probably not! The Handwrytten message is virtually indistinguishable from human writing. Furthermore, the card has your return address and a real postage stamp.

Simply type your message on our website or app and then choose from their beautiful selection of cards. You can even use your own stationery. This service has become a mainstay for businesses that like to make regular, personal contact with customers. It really makes a great impression and can drum up extra business. Handwrytten also takes the hassle out of annual Christmas greetings for shops and businesses.

No worries if you’re a picky person. There are over 100 designs to choose from or you can design your own. The Handwrytten online card customizer makes it simple. All cards are printed on thick, luxurious stock. And the best news of all is that this service starts at just $3.25 per card. For users who regularly like to send cards each month, there are generous discount plans. You can check out the Resources page for tips and tricks of the trade, and inspiration for sending greetings of all kinds.

Let me know what you think of Handwrytten!