There are many reasons you might be completely surprised by a positive pregnancy test and it can stir up a whirlwind of emotions. After you’ve accepted the fact that it’s the real deal, it can feel overwhelming.  All those things you worry about anyway as a mother can hit you double hard when contemplating another baby. More money, more doctor visits, more school books, more clothes, more sleepless nights! But mixed in with the anxiety is always joy. Joy because when all is said and done, another soul has come into the world. Joy because God is at work again, and you’re a part of it!

Here are a few things that can help you adjust to the big news in a positive and joyful way:

Enjoy the good things. Indulge in the joys of pregnancy as soon as you can – fun things like making lists of baby names, shopping for tiny diapers (cloth, anyone?) and relaxing with an interesting pregnancy book or magazine. Join support groups with other expectant mothers or chat with other expecting friends over the phone, on Facebook, etc. Google “the best things about pregnancy” for an emotional pick-me-up.

Stay away from party poopers. There’s a lady in my neighborhood that would welcome news of a pregnancy with raised eyebrows and accusatory questions like “So how many more are you gonna have?” Steer clear of wet blankets like that who will rob you of your joy and sow the seeds of doubt. Share your news with people who will encourage and support you. 🙂

Prioritize and organize. There are many things in life that help to get us motivated. A baby is definitely one of them. Use the next nine months to get more organized, adjust your schedule, improve the family budget or redecorate your house. No mother wants to bring a brand new baby into clutter and chaos, right?

Don’t fear change. Life is ever-changing and that means no family ever stays the same. Having another baby can be one of many things that will change your family dynamic over the years. Try to develop an attitude of openness when it comes to what the future may hold and you won’t feel so blindsided when a surprise comes.

Improve Yourself. Remember how much time you spent getting ready for your wedding? A big event like that is the impetus for improvement. When there’s a tiny baby inside who’s depending on you for everything, suddenly it becomes more important to eat well, be active and get some rest. You can change inside, too. Cultivating patience, prudence and generosity will help you prepare you for the demands of motherhood.

Now, it’s one thing to see that positive result on a pregnancy test, but actually holding your new baby in your arms? Incredible!

I would love to hear about the moment you knew you were a mother, and all the things you felt. Happy Mother’s Day to you all! You’re doing one of the most important “jobs” on this Earth!

 

 

Have a glorious Easter with your family and loved ones!

You are concerned about symptoms your baby or child is having. Should you go to the doctor, or stay home and wait it out? The answer depends on symptoms, age and duration. This post is meant to be a collaborative effort among parents and doctors (sites I often reference are Dr. Sears and Dr. Greene). I’ll include my tips here and you are all welcome to make suggestions in the comments below because we all have experience and knowledge to share when it comes to red flags and warning signs.

It’s good to avoid unnecessary visits: you get exposed to germs (read this interesting case study!), you have another bill to pay, and it can also be very stressful for the child. Running to the doctor for every symptom or question shouldn’t be a knee jerk decision, but nor should you downplay your concerns. One thing that’s worked well for our family is to call the nurse first. He or she can listen to what the symptoms are and then help you decide if it warrants a visit. Quite often, the clinic can tell you what to be on the lookout for.

I’ve often been told to go with my intuition, but that’s just not always an accurate gauge for me. I’ll be honest and admit that 90% of the time I was in a panic about something, it turned out everything was ok. And then I felt bad about subjecting my child to being poked and prodded and exposed to germs for nothing. That being said, if something is bothering you to the point that you have no peace, then sometimes going to the doctor is the only thing you can do for reassurance. You just have to take the good with the bad.

And now, here’s the list of things you’d probably want a doctor to look at:

GENERAL

• Fever of 100 or higher in infants 3 months or younger
• Fever of 102 or higher for more than 24 hours
• Fever that doesn’t respond to medication
• Any prolonged fever (several days or more)
• Lethargy or fatigue that is worrisome (your baby or child doesn’t want to speak or look at you, seems limp, eyes are hollow or vacant)
• After a vaccination: swelling, redness, pain or fever that persist past 48 hours; allergic reactions such as hives, dizziness, fainting, difficulty breathing, etc.
• Chronic headaches or sudden/severe headache

RESPIRATORY

• Breathing issues of any kind: rapid, slow, labored, noisy
• Chronic cough
• Coughing fits or spasms, or those that cause gagging and/or vomiting
• Ear pain that doesn’t resolve within 24 to 48 hours
• Cold symptoms that worsen after several days
• Sore throat that is accompanied by high fever, rash, swollen neck glands, headache and/or stomachache

GASTROINTESTINAL

• Refusing food/bottle/breastmilk
• Vomiting or diarrhea that last for more than 24 hours in a very young child
• Vomiting or diarrhea that contains blood
• Vomiting right after taking prescribed medication
• Less than 6 wet diapers in a day
• Unexplained stomach pain that doesn’t resolve within a couple of hours, or is a chronic thing (your child complains about it from day to day)

MUSCULAR/SKELETAL/SKIN

• Rashes that spread rapidly, are painful, cause significant itching, or occur after contact with food/medication/plants/animals, etc.
• A rash that is completely flat and doesn’t blanche (turn white) when you press on it. The tiny dots are red or purplish blue and can indicate very serious infection. (NOTE: If you see these tiny dots on a child’s face after a coughing fit or vomiting, it’s not a cause for concern)
• Injuries of any kind that cause greater-than-normal pain, stress or loss of mobility
• Burns that are not minor/superficial
• Muscle or joint pain that persists for more than a week and/or is more pronounced after waking up.

NERVOUS/PSYCHOLOGICAL

• Emotional distress that keeps a child from functioning normally, overwhelms him or is interfering with developmental milestones and/or success in school.
• Hurting oneself or threatening to harm others.
• Seizures, twitches, involuntary movements or sounds, repetitive movements/behaviors
• Intense fearfulness or anxiety
• Regressive behavior

EXCRETORY/REPRODUCTVE

• Difficulty passing urine or stool
• Noticeable changes in output (more frequent, less frequent, strange consistency, odor, etc.)
• Blood in urine or stool
• Pain, redness or irritation in or around private parts
• Cycle irregularities (excessive bleeding, excessive length, severe pain, cessation of cycling)

This is a blog post we can all help keep updated, so it will be as useful as possible!

Two is one of my favorite ages. A little bit independent and a little bit babyish. Small enough to hold but big enough to be talking. Two-year-olds can make you laugh out loud with the things they say and do.

“That’s true,” you might say, “but are you really denying the well-documented phenomenon known as The Terrible Twos?”

Yes. And it’s not because my children are perfect angels. And it’s not because parenting is easy. Erik is two right now and his hobbies are saying NO to everything and throwing toys when they don’t work properly. Susanna is three and thinks she is invincible.

The Terrible Twos is a stereotype that can lead to unfortunate consequences:

#1 Putting Off Discipline: The myth is that real defiance doesn’t start until the toddler years, so you can hold off on discipline until the Terrible Twos come along. What a shame! There are so many teachable moments in the first two years of a little one’s life that are wasted. Why not deal with challenges and defiance whenever they pop up, even if it’s before the first year?

Don’t end up one of those bewildered parents that says “He was such a sweet little baby and then suddenly he turned into a monster.” Nothing happens in a vacuum! This situation of being surprised by “sudden” misbehavior is likely what gave rise to the whole Terrible Twos stigma.

Pop quiz: Which of these approaches is kinder? (a) to give your “baby” free reign until he is 2 or 3 and then suddenly start trying to assert your authority and set boundaries, OR (b) to establish authority and put boundaries in place incrementally, from the very earliest age.

#2 Excusing Misbehavior: Tantrums and defiance are normal, right? So what’s the big deal? This is another attitude that’s becoming all too common, thanks to parenting pop psychology. “They are toddlers. This is the only way they know how to verbalize or act.” That’s only true IF you aren’t teaching them a better way. Don’t allow them to be rude, mean, obnoxious, etc. just because they are a toddler.

Human nature is tarnished. We all know this. In that sense, misbehavior at any age is “natural,” whether you are 2 or 102. But that doesn’t make it acceptable. Stop making excuses and help your child to rise above nature. They, just like you, should be striving to be a better person day by day.

#3 Labeling: Children are very perceptive, even at age two. And believe me, they pick up on your comments and facial expressions. You might think it’s ok to roll your eyes at a play date and tell another mother “We’re right in the middle of the Terrible Twos,” but it’s not. Your child hears that and thinks “This is just the way I am.” or “That’s me. Always making trouble.” A sensitive child might be embarrassed or hurt. A stubborn child might interpret this as an excuse to dig in his heels even more. They’ll reason this way: “I’m just a toddler and this is what toddlers do, so why try to behave?”

My mother told us that from the moment she gave birth, people started warning her about what was to come. “Just wait until they are toddlers,” friends would say. She would wait and nothing terrible would happen. “Just wait until they start school,” was the next prediction. After that, “Just wait until the teenage years.” Years went by and my mother never understood what all the dire predictions were about. Yes, we tested her and no, we weren’t always good, but she and my father had laid good foundations of love and discipline from the very beginning. She never felt bewildered or helpless. Nothing terrible (including the twos) ever reared its head.